“It’s in vain, Trot to recall the past,
Unless it works some influence on the present.”
C. Dickens. David Copperfield

“Time present and time past
Are both perhaps present in time future,
And time future contained in time past.”
T.S. Elliot. Four Quartets

One of the ever present and timeless themes that I become increasingly aware of is how the past is played out in the present of people’s lives, and how affected we all are by our culture and social environment. What is on offer then? Help to understand reasons behind attitudes and behaviour, and support to move from insight to choice and change because the possibility of alternative ways of responding to life’s situations has been glimpsed, this is the area of search and struggle. Answers do not always take away pain, but can bring relief. Understanding the past can help prepare for a healthier response when faced in the present or future with similar instances or feelings. Recourse to the past for explanations of today is surely not just a recognised tool for therapists. Think of the way novels and films use flashbacks as integral part of the development of the life stories being recounted. The process of recognition and understanding that the past is past means that the present and future can be different.

To stay with someone as they recall their life story is a way of seeing a pattern to attitudes, reactions and responses. If the past is past and not allowed to remain as eternally present, then new and alternative ways of responding to relationships in the here and now can be glimpsed, and gradually assumed. Insight and understanding may give an answer to the constant why. Why do I feel like this? Why react to authority in this way? Why do I fear success, seek isolation? The Struggle to change though is hard. It is painful to let the protective veil of forgotten memory be discarded, but it does allow for the present to be a different reality. If a forbidden memory of an abusive experience that took place on a Christmas day is allowed to break through, at least it becomes possible to understand why Christmas time is so feared and dreaded each year. If March is associated with depression, remembering that that was the month when a relationship broke up and an abortion followed, then meaning is given to the acknowledged pain. This March is not actually a repeat. The automatic pilot does not have to be switched on, so that the present is met with the feelings of the past or of the inexperienced, anxious, deprived child. An alternative, more appropriate response for me today does not have to be continually bypassed.

Each encounter is unique. There are no ready-made answers; often the way is lived out in darkness, confusion and conflict. Neither the therapist nor the client knows the way. It unfolds gradually, amidst much hesitancy and reflection but the love of the Heart of Jesus is there for each one. There are occasions when later on I have been allowed to know of a new freedom in someone’s life. The initial call to risk ‘walking with’ remains, trusting continually that the smoking flax will not be extinguished, or the bruised reed broken.

Joan Faber rscj
Province of England-Wales