in Mölndal, Sweden, 2008

I was brought up as third child in a very happy and united Catholic family who lived in the country in the east part of Germany that now is in Poland. My mother had a very strong faith, which she wanted to pass on to us. I remember very well the day of my First Communion - I was 7 years old - it was the feast of the Ascension of the Lord. The congregation were singing a song which touched my heart deeply: ”open the doors for the King, who will enter His Kingdom”. Yes this I wanted: to open my heart wide for the Lord.

Several very sad events followed. My father, whom I loved deeply, died when I was 9 years old. My mother, in her strong faith, gave us always an example in giving all trust in the Lord, and through her love and faith she gave us security.

Later on the war broke out and I became desperate to see my only brother become a soldier. In 1943 he disappeared in Russia and we never got a sign from him. He was 19 years old. But in all those dreadful situations my mother helped us to take it as the will of God.

In 1945 we had lost all properties in East Germany and in March 1945 bombs completely destroyed our house. When we were standing before the burning house I cried and said to my mother: ”Mommy, now we have nothing more!” and my mother answered ”Yes that’s true, but God protected and saved us and we have one another.” and she gave me a big hug. I understood how true this was, and from this moment on I was convinced about how precious all relationships are, something I have never forgotten!

My dream to become a pediatrician had gone because we became absolutely poor. But life went on, and I had a happy life, first as a nurse for children, afterwards as secretary in a scientific publishing house at München. I liked my life at München with many dear friends, good concerts and opera!

Deep in my heart I felt the Lord’s call to me and to religious life. But as my sister already became a nun and my mother lived alone, I felt I should stay in ”the world”. And I took this also as an excuse, because I didn’t want to leave München.

I remember very well one day - I was about 34 years old - when I visited my mother and we went in the morning to the cathedral where about 30 young men were ordained by the bishop. This touched me deeply, and when the choir sang ”Christus vincit, Christus regnat, Christus, Christus imperat” over and over, I felt strongly called and didn’t want to hesitate any longer! I was overwhelmed by the love of the Lord and wanted to follow Him and became very sad about my resistance to answer His call.

When I then talked to my mother about my longing to religious life I will never forget her answer:”If God also asked of me this offering, I’d do it with the whole of my heart”. I entered the 6th of January 1961 at Pützchen and was very happy.

The Lord called me to several responsibilities which were too big for me. First I was sent to Sweden as superior at Johannesgården where the community was in a difficult situation. Later on I was named provincial when the province was going through a difficult moment. To be rooted in reality and find God only there, I always felt was a gift God has given me which helped me to go forward. My experience has always been that the Lord didn’t spare for me difficulties, but He never left me and guided me with His faithful fidelity and love.

Now I am nearly 82 years old and I look at my life with great gratitude and can only say:

”Magnificat anima mea Dominum et exultavit spiritus meus in Deo salutari meo.
Qui fecit mihi magna, qui potens est, et sanctum nomen ejus.”